We named our party play list daddy issues
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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