why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
