If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
