He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
