Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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