Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
