she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
