i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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