I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
