alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
