We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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