you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
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my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
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They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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