real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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