So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
