But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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