look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
