i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
