Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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