Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
