So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
