I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
