If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
