East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
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