He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
