They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
