i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
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