I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
