Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
