apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
