I wish I could teleport
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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