I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I smell stomach acid.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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