Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
