Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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