How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
