I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Randomize
