Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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