Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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