hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
