she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
