so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
