I'm really into asian looking animals
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
