When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
