Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The air was thick with penises
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Two words: blizzard sex
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
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