he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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