if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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