Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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