1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Randomize
