that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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