Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
