my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
