fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize