Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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