I cockslap morals
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
