can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Someone signed my nipple.
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