You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
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