plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
