You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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