I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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