You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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