I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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