1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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