I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
