and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
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