I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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