can we get nightvision for the apartment?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
